Beard Envy

The year is coming to a close. The festivities are in the air and so is the facial hair. Movember came to an end, but that just began Decembeard, and Januhairy will provide license to all sorts of facial hair gardens. In the spirit of a man who cannot grow a beard due to allergies and skin issues, I give you "#Beard Envy", a satirical essay on the significance of beards.